To Take a Risk
by ari-g
Summary: To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. [Leo Buscaglia, in Living, Loving, and Learning (1985)]
1. Chapter 1

**The removal of all risk**

"Because of the life I lead, I just think it is best not to be with someone I can really care about"

He knows as soon as the words leave his mouth that they are lies. And he knows that she knows. Felicity Smoak could always see right through him.

He wonders though if she knows the real reason is that he has always been and would always be a coward.

Oh, sure give him someone throwing knifes or shooting bullets at him, and he has no problem facing them head on. But at the first whisk of a true lasting connection with a woman, he freezes. His first instinct is always to burn every bridge, and then run as fast and far as he can.

She stands there being brave, beautiful, brilliant and remarkable, and so far out of his reach. He wonders not for the first time what it would be like to touch her, to kiss her, to have her smile at him first thing in the morning.

"I just think you deserve better than her".

No, he doesn't.

The Isabel Rochevs of this world are all he deserves. Women he can never hurt because they mean nothing to him, and he means nothing to them.

He tried with Helena, Mackenna, and Laurel. All he did was hurt them. He refuses to do the same to Felicity.

He won't risk hurting her.


	2. Chapter 2

**The risk of a choice**

The way she sees it, she can either wait for the off chance that Oliver Queen decides to risk being in a relationship and the even more remote possibility that he would want one with her, or she can let go and move on.

But whatever choice she makes, she refuses to be bitter about it. It is what it is. She can't force him to feel the same way about her that she feels about him, and there is no point in being mad at him because of that.

By the time she reaches her desk back from dropping those papers to that awful woman, she knows what her choice will be.

Felicity Smoak has never been the type of girl to pine after a guy, holding her breath until he turns to look at her. If he turns towards her, then great, and if not, then she moves on. Oliver Queen will not change that about her.

She meant what she said to him. He deserves more than being with someone that does not care about him or that won't be able to see or appreciate the kind of person that he is. She hopes that one day he would realize that and find someone that could make him happy.

And, yes, a small, ok, a significant part of her still hopes that that person will be her. .

She sighs, very much aware of his eyes on her. She doesn't need to look through the glass wall that separates them to know that he sits there with a worried frown on his face no even trying to pretend to be working.

3…2…1…

She turns and smiles at him. Briefly but truly. Because you don't stop caring about someone, just because they don't care about you the same way you do about them. But she won't put her life on hold waiting for him. She's letting go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Letting go**

Moving on is not exactly as easy as she thought it was going to be. It's a process. Some days are easier than others.

Today is harder than some others.

"Hold onto me tight, Felicity." His arm goes tight around her waist. He feels so solid underneath her hands. Solid and safe.

"I don't like this"

"I won't let you fall." He pulls her closer still and then he walks them to edge of the roof.

It is the last time she offers herself to help them in the field. It will be just her and her computers at the lair from now on.

And then they are in the air. A couple of seconds that feel like eternity and they are back in the ground.

"Are you okay?" He doesn't let go yet, which nice and awful at the same time. She's still trying to get her breath back. "You got your hack face on?"

That crackles her up. "Yeah, I got my hack face on." His lips twitch up in a brief smile. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go".

"Are you in yet?" He paces keeping an eye on the door, the windows and her at the same time.

"Almost" if they weren't under such time constrains she would have like to take a minute or two just admiring the electronic security on is system. It was a thing of beauty really; frustrating, but a thing of beauty not the less.

"Can you hurry?" speaking of beautiful and frustrating things. Really, the man has no patience at all.

"Oliver!"

"Shutting up now" he goes on pacing.

"Yes! I'm in" typing a command after another, she navigates her way to the files they need. "Copying our files... Ha! This is one corrupt insurance company that's going down epically. Got it"

"Great. Let's go"

They made their way back to the hall where the roof stairs are without any problems, so of course is the moment they open the door that they are discovered by happy trigger goons.

"Go, go" He ushers through the door protecting her with his body. Kevlar. She's putting kevlar in that hood of him, the tights as well. People throw bullets at him way too often.

An arrow or two after and they are running on the roof. She comes to a sudden stop at the end of the roof. Her toes are practically on the air.

And then, he is there with his arm around her.

"I got you"

And off into the empty space they go to another roof and then another until finally they touch ground.

"Are you okay?"

"Let's not do that again"

His lips twitch up. "Come on." He grabs their jackets and helmets and makes his way to the bike, or as she likes to call her 'the future instrument of her demise'.

"You know, I never knew I was such a thrill seeker until I met you." she knows she's about to start with the rambling. She always does when she is nervous or just before she has to spend any time holding for dear life from him.

"I won't let anything happen to you." He mounted the bike and extends a hand to help her climb it.

As she takes his hand and then wraps her arms around him, she's sure that letting go will be a long long process.

She'll just have to be strong and remind herself that he doesn't see her like that. He cares, sure, but not like that.

Then the count comes back, and nothing is clear anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Taking precautions**

He finds her beating on the punching bag in their lair. Her hair is up in a ponytail and it bounces and flips with every punch she delivers. He can tell that she's actually following Digs instructions this time. Her position is pretty much perfect: right leg back, heel turning with every punch; left foot slightly turned and knees bent to give her stability; left hand always up to protect her face and used only for fast jabs. She is not holding anything back either.

"Hey" he calls out when a moment or after he comes down and she hasn't noticed him yet. "What are you doing?"

"Training"

"I can see that"

"Well…"

"It's just that I have never seen you so into it"

"I'm always into things that leave me sweaty and breathless" She pauses abruptly and turns to him, "that came out wrong"

He chuckles. He resists the temptation to tease her with something like: _are you sure that came out wrong? Because all you have to do is ask_. He is distracted by how much skin she is showing in her training outfit. _Concentrate, Olive Queen. There is something going on here._

"What I meant is that you are usually coming out with a thousand of different excuses not to train, and suddenly here you are. By yourself, training."

"Not a thousand excuses" she pushes a strand of hair back behind her ear. "I'm only up to excuse number 36, really"

"Felicity," his eyes find hers, "does this newfound passion for trying to kill the punching bag has anything to do with what went down with the Count?"

Her eyes leave his and focus on a point left of his head. "No, maybe"

"Felicity"

"I don't ever want to put in a position like that again" Her eyes go back to his and his breath leaves his lungs.

"Felicity"

"I know what you said. That there wasn't even a choice and all that." She is earnest and beautiful and it is all he can do not to touch her. "But I got myself into that situation and I should have been able to get myself out it without you having to kill to save me. I don't want you to have to break your promise to Tommy for me. I don't ever want to cause you that pain. And I don't want to be a burden."

This girl, this woman really, he would never deserve her. But he knows that he would do anything to protect her. He meant what he said to her, there was never a choice to make. The Count was going to hurt her. It didn't even cross his mind to let him live because he would have tried to hurt her again and he couldn't allow that. He won't ever hesitate to kill or to die for her.

His hand goes to her shoulder. Her skin even softer than it looks.

"You could never be a burden to me." He rarely smiles honestly unless it is with her. "But if it would keep you safer, I'll help you train." He skishes he shoulder lightely. "But I want you that that between keeping promises and you, I will always choose you. No hesitation and no regrets."

He pulls a surprised Felicity away from the punching bag and into the training mats.

"Come on. Lets get you all sweatty and breathless again"

That shakes out of her stupecfaction. "Did you just made a joke? You? Serious and grumpy Oliver Queen?"

"Hey, I'll have you know I can be fun and funny." With that he gets himself in a defensive stand. "Okay, now hit me as hard and fast as you can"

"I have the small suspicion that yours and mine idea of fun differ in some significant ways." She gets herself into a fighting position and then throws a punch. It is faster than he expected and he is pleasently surprised.

"Your form is almost perfect, but you tend to lower your left hand a tad too much when you throw a cross." He nods to himself. "Okay, let's do some basic routines to improve that. Jab, jab, cross, duck and duck, okay?"

"You are the sensei, Miyagi?"

His lips pull into a smirk and he holds his left hand up for the jabs. Then he raises his right hand for her punch with a cross. Then he gives a slow jab and then a cross for her to duck from. They spend the rest of the evening like that. Neither pays much attention to the reporter appearing in one of the screens in the background talking about the particle accelerator innaguration date fastly approaching.


End file.
